The thumbs up emoji has long been one of my go-to answers. It’s simple. It’s universal. It’s friendly. Or so I thought, until a Daily Mail headline snapped me out of my emoji-happy stupor this week. “Why NO ONE should be using the thumbs up emoji in 2022,” reads the headline.
Cut to making the kind of expression you see on the confused emoji: 😕 😕 😕
“Sending a thumbs up can be seen as passive aggressive and even confrontational, according to Gen Z, who claim to feel attacked when used,” the article reads, speaking for a generation via a 10-month-old thread on the adult subreddit and a purported Perspectus Global poll in which young people cite the 10 emoticons that make people look old. The thumbs up tops that list, which also includes the lipstick with a kiss, the pile of poo, and the red heart. Guilty, guilty and very guilty. 😘 💩 😘
Me — a Certified Old Man™, so ancient it excites me Blink-182 reunites — frequently use the thumbs-up emoticon to signal that I’ve read a colleague’s message, agree with their thinking, or approve an action plan. In cases that require no conversation other than a quick nod, the thumbs up has always seemed like an efficient, cheerful way to get the job done. 👍 👍 👍
But the Daily Mail article suggests that Gen Z (those born between 1997 and 2012) may come across as downright hostile. Like Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and the City, that favorite of Gen X and millennials, I couldn’t help but wonder… Am I alienating my younger colleagues with my reliance on the trusty thumbs-up?
The fact that I would even consider such a question highlights the perpetual confusion and anxiety about subtext that arises from new and ever-evolving forms of digital communication that often lack the advantages of intonation, eye contact and body language. Heck, a little punctuation mishap on the phone nearly ruined my CNET colleague Erin Carson’s entire social life.
Until this week, I naively viewed the thumbs up emoji as a thumbs up emoji. Sometimes a thumbs up emoji is just a thumbs up emoji, Freud once said. Freud wasn’t on Slack.
“My last workplace had a WhatsApp chat where our team would send information to each other and most of the people there just responded with 👍,” wrote a Reddit user. “I don’t know why, but I found it a bit hostile, like an admission, but a ‘I don’t/don’t care’ kind of thing?”
But I do i really care too in the morning interested. So I asked my colleagues to give it to me straight. Are breathless emoji headlines exaggerating as the latest salvo in the never-ending culture wars? Or is an upturned thumb made of pixels really equal to a middle finger? The answer is somewhere in the middle. 👉 👈
“Too Long on the Internet”
“Yeah, I use it all the time for quick ‘yes, I do’ and stuff like that for work,” says science writer Monisha Ravicetti, who’s on the cusp of Gen Z. Monisha and I regularly exchange five or six thumbs-up emojis every day, so far with little hurt feelings. She likes the effectiveness of the thumbs up at work, but adds that she doesn’t use it in a non-professional setting.
“In a non-professional context, being ‘effective’ feels like I come across as rude or insensitive,” says Monisha. “I’d probably go with ‘good!’ or ‘perfect’.”
My fellow Gen Z Meara Eisenberg agrees that “thumbs up” a message is always a safe bet. She occasionally puts thumbs-up emoticons at the end of text messages: “Sounds good” “Perfect.” But she sees how an emoji standing on its own, instead of a response, can look a little colder.
I get it As much as I rely on the symbol, there are sometimes it feels sudden — when a friend shares that he’s finally feeling better after being sick, for example. In that case, a lone thumbs up can seem like a conversation killer that channels I don’t want to hear anymore.
David Lumb, who covers all things mobile for CNET, sees a similar nuance in the thumbs-up emoji.
“My boyfriend in his mid-50s sends a thumbs up in random text messages, and I’ve had to learn not to take offense,” says David, a millennial in his mid-30s.
“Come to think of it,” David continues, “the associations I make with the thumbs up are a bit nonsensical—for example, the iOS thumbs up reaction via iMessage is somehow less offensive, but the feeling of a full emoticon going through the effort to you send a telegram containing one word. I’ve lived too long on the internet.”
Okay, I want to know what it is really rude?
Clearly, digital communication leaves a lot of room for misinterpretation. Even a seemingly benign statement like “OK” can turn into a sharp sword in the right messaging hands.
“Saying ‘k’ is definitely ruder than a thumbs up emoji,” suggested my colleague Corinne Reichert. This prompted widespread agreement, with one colleague calling the short “k” a “missile strike”. The team agrees that the old ‘KK’ is a much better choice. 👍 👍 👍
Of course, choosing between a k or two or choosing the perfect emoticon seem like frankly trivial pursuits in a world where Ukraine is under siege and hurricanes are washing away cities and lives.
“Young people don’t care about thumbs up emojis,” tweeted a Gen Z’er this week. “I don’t know why people in the media think this is at the front of our minds, but we just want health care and to be able to make decisions about our own bodies.”
Still, the subtleties of everyday communication affect how we experience our friends and colleagues, and ultimately how we perceive ourselves. The vagaries of language and iconography reflect important cultural conversations. I’m just not convinced that thumbs up is one of them.
So while I’d rather not be known around the office as a grumpy old man (at home is another story), I’ll proudly continue to use the thumbs up — and the red heart, lipstick, kiss on the face, pile of poop, and other symbols that make me reveal as an elder. Getting older has enough worries without having to worry that every time I click a thumbs up emoji, I’ll be viewed as a grumpy old man yelling “get off my lawn.” ✌😘 👍 👍